i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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