i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
