i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
