The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
3pm strippers are depressing
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize