I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
