I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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