ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
