There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
