Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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