my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
