tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
