what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
