I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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