dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
