I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
