Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
