time to smoke my breakfast
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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