i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
