If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
