her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
