i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
