i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
