Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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