Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
