do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
