u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
