even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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