She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
