There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
