So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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