Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
