I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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