Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
