did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's like iHOP with fire
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
