Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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