I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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