Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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