I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
