just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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