I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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