maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
