I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
