Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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