I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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