well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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