So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Drake has all the answers
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
