So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
