the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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