who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
