Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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