It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Floor bacon is actually really good
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize