kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
