she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
