capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
