FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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